I am a very big fan of Linux, especially the distributions Debian and Ubuntu (last one is a modified version of Debian, more userfriendly), also Zenwalk is a nice alternative, you should use it rather than Windows!!! It is free, OpenSource and you can choose the language you want to use it (even rare languages!!) and which programms you want to install; also free of charge/without paying!!
Ubuntu (the CD is completly free, even shipping you do not need to pay; only waiting for several weeks if you have very slow internet connection)
Please Note: The German Servers are the fastest, especially the "Esslingen" one...
Life can be hard...for some people it is often, for other it seems like always and for other it is almost never...now, on the unavoidable way to Christmas, my life is getting hard...seeing all the families being in the city; laughing, maybe also singing and being together as a family while me....where is my family? Where is my life?
Christmas time makes me always sad, really sad and again, I start to think about my life again and I have this great feeling that my whole life is a lie...A BIG and unavoiable lie.
Then I think about a definition? What means family to me? There is the moment when I realise that I do not know what that is...family...I never had a family, not THAT one everyone is thinking about when they hear that word.
I am thinking about 6 years ago, in April 2002 when I was lucky that I got a place in an exchange which has been already booked out but there has been a family which has been asked if they want to take part again...this was the beginning of a wondeful thing. On the day when I went there I thought I would be crazy...going into a country and a hostfamily I do not even know or I even do not speak their language good enough...
From the very first moment we could deal each other...so this was my feeling I do not know how she felt...but...it was a completly new experience that they acted to me as normal...they ignored my disability...I was...NORMAL. They gave my life a new sense without knowing it....NOW she will know when she reads it....so let me tell you one thing which is on my deep deep heart: Even I have not written so often there has not been a day when I was not thinking about you all...you became my special family like your mother said to me...I remember when I had to go back to Germany...we were crying, not wanting to say Goodbye because we had so much fun!! Next year you came and it was so great!! And then we saw each other every year you moved from one place to another but still we had contact...and then...the last time we saw it was in Barfleur...it was strange I knew this time it will take longer to see each other again and that made it more difficult. I MISS YOU!!!
But hey, there is something on its way to you!
All these days, now I am living alone, I feel so alone and sad. Taizé made me happy again and the time after I was still happy for a long time and everytime I got a message form you let my heart jump.
The only thing which is missing now is a family HERE.
Aaaaaah, help me!
Who does not know it: Nerving roomies?
Actually, I am living in a 2-head-living-group with a girl who is just some months older than me but she is like a child...unfortunately you cannot choose your roomies everytime. But okay, it has been better for me than staying alone...
...and as a matter of fact it has been shaped up that my flatmate is completly a chaotic person...she does not care for hygienic surroundings or some tidiness. Often our flat is a whole mess because of her! Always I clean and tidy up after her, pans I need are not washed up already so I have to do it and so I do her work again...
...her room's floor is blotched with rubbish/trash/litter because of her lazyness. She is too lazy to go some few steps into our kitchen where a rubbishbag is or even downstairs to the rubbishbins/tons.
Also she does not clean our bathroom and her participation to our telephone bill she has not paid for three months which puts me into moneyproblems.
Moreover she is making jokes on me all the time and nerving me, while she is even not at work, kipping or pitting...I am sorry for these bad words but it really points it to the fact and the situation I have to live in.
Okay, lets tell why I started to write my agony to you. It is easy:
2 weeks ago I won a casting for an audiobook, they were looking for speakers and I was that lucky girl who got a job there. I have been so euphoric these days!! You remember? Okay, this way is good.
There I was just thinking that I am in peace and may record the new chapter, then my roomie appeared and thought she could be funny in destroying my recordings!! She was talking and speaking and shouting all the time I tried to record my work! The whole thing she did from out of her room or just directly next to me. I already recorded 5 of 25 minutes and then she buggered it up!!!!!!!! All my work was destroyed, not able to use anymore...the best record I did...!
Or she is tickling me while I am recording because I beged her not to shout anymore...not to forget that our neighbours might like to sleep already...
Normally you cannot get me angry easily, I stay calm and tolerant but after this and the I-do-not-how-often-time there has been the last straw!!! Especially I did a replacement for somebody who has not sended her work for more than 2 weeks and it has to be done very quickly now!! Otherwise there will be around 5 million people very sad that they have to wait that long!
So this night I might not be able to continue my work anymore and tomorrow morning there won't be any possibility also :-/
But OhOH! If I pass her room on the way to my one and she is changing or even dressing she becomes a fury!! Or even a harpie...I do not know what is the worst one...so she could have it easier by closing her door.... *rollingeyes*
Okay, okay I just wanted to say it loud, to give it away. Sometimes you can throw your roomies out of the window because they are from no use!!!!!
Aaaaaaah, helft mir!
Wer kennt das nicht: Nervende Mitbewohner??
Ich wohne ja derzeit in einer 2er-WG mit einer zusammen, die gerade einmal ein paar Monate älter ist als ich, aber wie ein Kind ist...leider kann man sich seine Mitbewohner nicht immer aussuchen. Aber gut, es war besser für mich, als einsam zu bleiben...
...wo nun im Nachhinein herauskommt, dass meine Mitbewohnerin eine Unordnungs-und Unsauberkeitsfanatikerin zu sein scheint...ständig räume ich ihr alles hinterhe, Pfannen, die ich brauche, sind nicht abgespült; folglich muss ich sie spülen und mache mal wieder ihre Arbeit...der Fußboden ihres Zimmers ist übersät von Müll, weil sie zu faul ist, mal eben in die Küche zu laufen und ihn dort in den Sack zu werfen oder sich gleich nach unten zu den Tonnen zu begeben, um dort die Sachen zu entsorgen...das Bad wird nicht geputzt, ihren Anteil an der Telefonrechnug zahlt sie seit drei Monaten nicht mehr und ärgert mich alle Nase lang, wenn sie nicht gerade pennt, frisst oder arbeitet....bitte entschuldigt die Ausdrücke, aber sie beschreiben dennoch ziemlich gut, was ich hier durchlebe.
So, aber was ist nun der Anlass, dass ich euch mein Leid klage?? Ganz einfach:
Vor 2 Wochen habe ich ein Casting gewonnen, bei dem Hörbuchsprecher/innen gesucht wurden und ich hatte halt eben das Glück, mich zu den Glücklichen zählen zu dürfen. Man, war ich die nächsten Tage euphorisch! Gut, gut...soweit erstmal.
Da denke ich gerade, nun hab ich meine Ruhe und kann jetzt schön in meiner Küche das neue Kapitel aufnehmen, da bekommt die Tante das mit und fängt an, die ganze Zeit herumzuplaudern und reinzuschreien von ihrem Zimmer oder gleich neben mir. Da hatte ich schon ganze 5 Minuten von 25 zusammen und dann versaut sie mir das!!!!!!!!
Oder sie kitzelt mich mitten drin einfach, dabei habe ich sie gebeten, nicht herumzuschreien, ganz abgesehen davon, dass die Nachbarn schlafen wollen...nun, mich bekommt man eigentlich überhaupt nicht leicht stinkig, ich bin immee sehr gelassen, aber nach dem was weiß ich wievielten Mal ist mir doch ein wenig der Kragen geplatzt, zumal ich für jemanden eingesprungen bin und das mit der Aufnahme nun schnell von der Bühne muss...heute Nacht wird es also leider nichts mehr und morgen früh auch nicht :-/ Wehe, wenn ich mal aus Versehen an ihrem Zimmer vorbeilaufe, während sie sich umzieht, dann gibt es Donnerwetter! Dabei könnte sie es so leicht haben und einfach die Türe schließen...
Nun gut, dass wollt ich eben einfach mal losgeworden sein, Mitbewohner kann man manchmal echt vergessen!!